Πέμπτη, Οκτωβρίου 27

Nutjobs, Anyone?

God helped me shed 14kg

Hi Pastor Prince,

I have been attending New Creation Church for five years, and my family and I have received tremendous blessings from your messages. I would like to share how our wonderful Lord Jesus slimmed me down without the use of any drugs or slimming centres.

What I did was just to follow what you have preached to me through the services. Every night before I sleep, I would speak to my fats and cellulite, cursing them to the roots and casting them to the ground. I have also learnt to listen to the Holy Spirit on what to eat and the kinds of workouts to do in the gym.

Our Lord Jesus is so wonderful to me! I started doing this on 1 March 2004 and within one month, I lost 5kg! How can a normal person lose that kind of weight even with drugs and slimming courses?

My beloved Lord Jesus has done it for me! Before, I was 69kg, now, I am 55kg. Praise the Lord!


Shalom,
Jermaine Teo Wei Mei
5 July 2004


This is off the New Creation Church website - it's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

From Constantine:

Among other things, these "Christians" believe that God caused their property prices to increase, that their ascension to the Million-Dollar Table was divinely inspired, that because God saved a certain parishioner's father when he "rightly" did nothing (When I bo chup, God saved my dad!).

Ah yes, one more thing - these people take Holy Communion everywhere: in their cars, at home, some 3 times a day after lunch, and usually without the administration of any clergy. New Creation church people celebrate the Eucharist in cars and at home, using coca cola for wine.


Stakes and firewood, anyone?


The Vampire Novel
Hmm, very interesting! You scored 151!

People are addicted to you, as you make such entertaining and sexy reading material. You get people’s imaginations flowing and make for the type of book people want to read more than once. Cults have been inspired by the likes of you.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 87% on bookpoints


Link: The What Kind Of Book Are You Test written by saucygirl on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

More Quizzes

You Are A: Bear Cub!

bear cubBears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You're big, you won't back down from a fight, you have a bit of a temper -- classic attributes of a bear. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.

You were almost a: Duck or a Monkey
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a GroundhogWhat Cute Animal Are You?


HASH(0x8ecf150)
"The guy the Pope /should/ listen to"


God has given you the rare gift of bilocation. With it, you can attend both the First Friday Devotions in Honor of Our Lady of Fatima and the parish bake sale committee meetings.

We respect you, mostly because we fear the incredible power you wield in our parish.

Provided by
Are You A Cultural Catholic?
brought to you by Quizilla


The second one's particularly amusing cos I can't imagine being at these First Friday things.

Τρίτη, Οκτωβρίου 25

Cardinal Humbert Prize

To those of us Easterns, the name 'Cardinal Humbert of Silva Candida' needs no introduction - this was the fool whose ill-temper and pride was the catalyst for the breaking of communion between the Roman and Constantinopolitan Churches in 1054. I haven't yet found where he is buried - I promise to spit on it when it is found.

I propose a 'Cardinal Humbert Prize' for Latins who say silly and ignorant things about the Eastern Churches. Readers are of course, welcome to submit entries at any time.

The current holder of the Cardinal Humbert Prize has to be one Elinor, who runs Mommentary. A while ago, there was a deeply offensive article in the Straits Times of Singapore that used the derogatory term 'Uniate' and I took exception to that - hence this post. Behold the comments here that this Elinor made on that entry:

Don't be silly. "Uniate" is not a derogatory term by any measure. It merely reflects a fact, that the churches so designated - such as the Maronites, Melkites, Copts, and so forth - have been united with the Roman Catholic Church. I never have understood why members of these churches should object to a word that only means "not schismatic anymore", but the foolish qualms of those who do object are not good enough reason to deprive the rest of us of a useful and efficient expression.

Unbelievable. Naturally, I replied:

Dear Elinor, thank you for your comments. I must point out however, that the term is considered DEEPLY offensive by those to whom it is applied. At the risk of arguing in a circle, "uniate" is an offensive word because the great majority of those to whom it is applied are offended by it. Since polite people address and refer to others by the names or technical designations which said others prefer, within some semblance of reason, the mere fact that the use of this word is perceived as offensive is reason enough to avoid it.

Would one dream of referring to those of African origin by the term 'negroes' simply because they are dark of colour? The same goes for the terms 'Romanist' and 'Papist' - both of which are used as derogatory terms.

Those of us who are Eastern Catholics consider the term offensive because our Churches (note capital C, not lower-case) established communion with Rome, we were not 'united'. Besides, we are Eastern Catholics - we are no less Catholic than the Romans and do not require a special name. No one would dream of calling the Romans 'Uniate' simply because they were in communion with us.

Ignorant Latins who know nothing of our traditions and ways have no place pontificating on the matter - particularly in such a tone. I propose that it is your sort of mindset that is, in truth, 'silly' and 'foolish', to quote your own words.


This is the same sort of mindset that I found on Sunday in a book entitled 'My Catholic Faith' that one of the boys I'm training in chant picked up from the local SSPX (spit spit) chapel. The book, talking about the punishment to heretics and schismatics, in the same paragraph that talks about the death of Arius and Nestorius, mentions that Constantinople fell to the Turks on the feast of Pentecost, 'the feast of the same Holy Ghost about whom they had doubts'.

Someone's making it up as they go along - Constantinople fell on Tuesday, 29th May 1453. Tuesday couldn't have been Pentecost in ANYBODY's calendar. Any Latin apologist who uses that argument is at best a fool and at worst a malicious liar.

Then again, Latins making things up (history, documents, interpretations, symbolism) as they go along is nothing new - from the Donation of Constantine to the 'extra ecclesia nulla salus' of Boniface VIII to the ridiculous Pastor Aeternus of Pius IX (note I most emphatically do NOT accord him the status of a Beatus). Semper Eadem (ever the same) - yeah, right.

Any Latin who wishes to protest this post - please tell me the origin and meaning of the light slap to the cheek administered to the confirmand by the bishop at Confirmation in the Roman Rite. If you're going to tell me it represents willingness to suffer for the Gospel and for Christ - thank you very much, you've just confirmed what I said about Latins making it up.

(Kenny, Norman, Michael and Royston - I told you the origin of this already, so you're disqualified)

Ok. Rant over.

Update

Dear all,

apologies for not blogging at all in the past month - it's been a very, very rough 5 weeks. Those who've kept me in prayers - my thanks to you. Those who've been at my side - my thanks to you too. Those whom I've been out of contact with - my apologies again, I'll be in touch again soon.

Things that've happened include:

2 weddings
a nasty tropical mosquito-borne disease
setting up Singapore's first Gregorian Schola
cripplingly bad back and neck pains

and much much more - I'll try to bring my readers up to date on these things as soon as possible.